


A Dragon named Newt

by DarkAngel2891



Category: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Adventure, Anathema is a good friend, Arranged Marriage, Aziraphale is a mess, Crowley is a Mess (Good Omens), Curses, F/F, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Forbidden Love?, Fuck Facists, Gabriel is a good brother, Happily Ever After, Hastur and Ligur are suspicious, If you're reading this say What., Ineffable Husbands (Good Omens), Ineffable Idiots (Good Omens), M/M, Minor Character Death, Minor Violence, Other, Pansexual Gabriel, Stupid convoluted curses., Tags Are Fun, These idiots are made for each other, They/Them Pronouns for Beelzebub (Good Omens), True Love, You can literally write anything, agnst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-11
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:48:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26952394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkAngel2891/pseuds/DarkAngel2891
Summary: Aziraphale is the Crown Prince of Elysium, doomed to be married to a distant Prinx he's never met.Crowley is cursed and trapped in a tower awaiting a brave rescuer.Aziraphale sets off on a traditional journey, hoping against all hope that he can find a polite way out of this marriage. Anathema and Newt are along for the ride.
Relationships: Anathema Device/Newton Pulsifer, Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), Beelzebub/Gabriel (Good Omens)
Comments: 20
Kudos: 34
Collections: Good Omens AUs





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This idea came to me from a Tumblr post about A Dragon named Pudding. So I decided to turn it into a fic. This fic will be multiple chapters and not heavy on the agnst, just your typical "I'm engaged to someone I've never even met" and "I'm under the control of an annoying curse that has a convoluted way out." 
> 
> Drama Queen Crowley makes an appearance as does flustered Aziraphale, and we can't forget about bubbly yet inappropriately naive Gabriel.  
> .  
> Gabriel is a decent guy in this, just brash and sheltered.  
> This is largely a Fluff and Humor piece.  
> This has not been beta read. Rating might go up in later chapters.

Crowley stared out at the sunset, he brooded from his position at his tower window, below he could see the smoke rising from the entrance hall. Another day another idiot knight vanquished before they had a chance to get to him. He moved away and sat at his dresser inspecting his image in the mirror. His golden eyes were slit against the light of the setting sun. The rays caught upon his gleaming scales and gave him a rush of warmth. He felt himself tingle as the magic washed over him and he smiled at seeing his face and hands again. 

"Hello you, another day, another disappointment." 

Crowley sighed, melodramatically. He got up and grabbed his mister spraying the plants around the room. 

"Look at you all, daring to get dried out and limp because I can't tend to you during the day? Pathetic." 

He hissed at them.

"I ought to toss you out the window and see if I can't get you past the outer wall." 

The azalea trembled in it's pot and tried to stand up straighter.

As he finished threatening them he heard a knock at the door. He grabbed his robes and put them on before opening it.

"Hello Newt, what's for dinner today?" 

Crowley let in his friend and confidant. 

Newt smiled shyly and handed him a bowl of stew and a roll of slightly singed bread.

"Rabbit, caught them this morning. They were pretty fat, skin will make for some decent mittens come winter." Newt said, eating his portion. 

Crowley nodded appreciatively. He thought about yet another winter trapped in the tower. Damned curse kept him from leaving it, blimey did the winters get cold. 

They continued on chatting as the night led on.

* * *

"Any sign of them yet?" Prince Aziraphale whispered to his friend.

Anathema peeked around the corner and gave the all clear. The two of them set off for the palace library at a brisk pace, dodging around corners and hustling through the servants tunnels. They made it and slipped into the library with ease, Aziraphale let out a breath of relief as he winded his way through the shelves.

"Remind me why we're hiding again?" Anathema whispered to him as she followed behind him grabbing books that spoke to her. 

"Because I'd rather not have to put up with my brother or parents at the moment. At least not until they get here." Aziraphale shifted sadly in his chair. 

As the eldest son of Good King Meto and Lovely Queen Michael he was expected to act like one. His life laid out and planned for him since before his birth. Destined to become the next great King, it was no surprise that he would need to be married before assuming the throne.

He never gave much thought to it and now wished he did, he was betrothed to a distant Prinx and he was expected to fall in love and be married within the year. He shuddered at the thought of marrying someone he never even met. 

What if they didn't love books? Or tea? Or good food? 

Well everyone liked food except for Gabriel but he is an outlier and shouldn't be counted. 

He was content to while away the hours in the library with some tea, or if he was feeling up to it sword practice with Anathema. So far the only guard who can best him in combat. They had known each other since childhood and at one time believed to betrothed to each other.

 _'Anathema would make a lovely Queen. Passionate, Stubborn yet kind. She wouldn't be bad to spend my life with even if there's no sexual attraction'_ Aziraphale once held this naive thought that he wouldn't mind being married to his best friend. 

Until King Meto announced that they were planning for his marriage to unite the kingdoms of the Humans and the Fae. A shock to Aziraphale who thought the Fae to be only story book characters. 

He had already met with three of them, Dukes Hastur and Ligur and Princess Dagon.

Grumbling and lumpy fellows He had worried that one of them was to be his spouse, but was informed that they were delayed due to political issues. 

Aziraphale and Anathema passed the hours away until servants bussled into the library and rooted them out. Anathema gave Aziraphale's hand a squeeze as she headed to her chambers to get properly dressed. 

"I have a plan, trust me." She said before he was swept away to his rooms. 

His attendant's helped him into a lovely white and gold outfit. With silk socks and shoes, it was really his favorite outfit. As he looked himself over in the mirror his door burst open bearing his brother Gabriel. 

"Aziraphale! I see they finally found you at last. You sure know how to blend into the wall when you want to. Let me guess, nervous about meeting your fiance?" Gabriel smiled broadly and clapped him firmly on his shoulders. 

Aziraphale gave a nervous laugh.

"That would be correct, yes." 

Gabriel let go of him and went to the mirror to smooth out his hair. 

"I have to say I fear that I am quite jealous." He said, inspecting his teeth. 

Aziraphale's face shifted to puzzlement.

"Really? Why ever so?" He looks at his little brother, they're only ten months apart but sometimes it feels as though Gabriel is the eldest. 

"You get to carry the kingdom, and marry a high ruling Fae. You know I hear they're wild in bed." 

Gabriel laughs at his own joke. 

Aziraphale blushes beet red and stammers.

"Really now, you mustn't say such things in front of the delagation. They'll not take kindly to it." He fussed, he heard the trumpets blow announcing the arrival of a pitch black carriage.

Gabriel and Aziraphale made their way to the entrance hall and stood in their places. Aziraphale gives a small wave to Anathema who is standing in the middle of the gaurd.

"Announcing the Dukes Hastur and Ligur of Tartarus, Princess Dagon and Their Royal Highness Prinx Beelzebub of Tartarus." The paige cried as the doors opened and the nobles filed in. 

Aziraphale saw the Dukes pass by and Princess Dagon stepped to the side to reveal a petite figure. Draped in royal blue with a crimson red sash they approached first the King and Queen. They spoke for a moment before they walked up to Aziraphale. They bowed and Aziraphale bowed back.

"Your Highnezz, it iz a welcome day. I hope we can find common groundz." Beelzebub buzzed at him, their electric blue eyes met his. There was no love at first sight or any of that foolish nonsense. The most he could hope for was mutual admiration and the knowledge that he was as unwanted of a spouse as he felt about them. 

The proceedings were moved to the throne room where a great table with dark wooden chairs awaited them. 

"I think it would be best to have the wedding as soon as possible." Queen Michael began, and with that Aziraphale and Beelzebub were cut out of the conversation. 

As the conversation turned towards what flowers would be best suited, Aziraphale was already counting in his head how many days of bachelorhood he had left. His attention was drawn away from his self-pitying thoughts by Anathema approaching the table. She waited until she was acknowledged. 

"Speak now or leave the room." King Meto said.

"Your majesties, I know that I am a simple guard but I feel I must speak. For I know in all this excitement you have overlooked one thing." 

She said, King Meto paused but with a wave of his hand permitted her to continue.

"It's tradition for the heir to the throne to set out upon a quest before marriage. Good Prince Aziraphale has yet to partake in this tradition. He cannot marry until he does." She spoke with confidence.

Aziraphale gasped, remembering all the times he delayed his ceremonial quest for the comforts of home. 

King Meto looked between everyone, the delegation from Tartarus looked put out. 

"Of course, this tradition has been a part of our family for centuries. It's considered bad luck to neglect it. If it's agreeable to you my dear fellows, I ask that you permit us to uphold this. The wedding will of course take place as soon as he returns from it, and we are more than capable of hosting you until then." King Meto spoke. 

The Tartarus group spoke with each other and nodded. 

"We are in agreement then, Prince Aziraphale you will be given until the winter solstice to complete your quest. Do you understand?"

Aziraphale nodded hurriedly, after lunch where he was impressed by Beelzebub's ability to eat as much as he did he returned to his rooms where a sack awaited him. He began to plan, packing durable clothing, coins in case he was in need of them and a couple of books for entertainment. 

He went to bed and was roused before the sun had risen by Anathema. 

"Let's go, I've already got the horses ready." She whispered to him, despite having complete permission it felt like they were stealing away. 

They stopped at the kicthens for provisions speaking to Madame Tracy. She only handed over an apple and a couple of rolls each. 

"Come here." She said beckoning them to a corner of the kitchen. On the counter lay a blue checker tablecloth. 

"Here I want you two to take this with you. It'll be of great help on your journey. This was Mister Shadwell's before the gout got to him. Now he just gripes on about his glory days. No matter what he doesn't know won't hurt him." 

She explained hastily. Anathema and Aziraphale stared at her like she wasn't making any sense. 

"I'm sorry, not to be rude but it's just a tablecloth." Anathema pointed out. 

"Cheek, it's not just a plain old tablecloth. Watch this. _"Good Table, set thyself."_ " Madam Tracy held out the cloth and it sprung from her hands. 

Throwing itself into the middle of the room it folded around an invisible table. Many dishes popped into being, roast duck with stuffing. Warm baked rolls and even cut pears with cinnamon sugar dusted on top. Aziraphale grabbed one and bit into, letting out a soft squeak of enjoyment. 

"My lady this is simply marvelous. This will be a *life saver. Thank you." Aziraphale hugged her and she patted his cheek fondly. 

"Now to get it to fold up you must say, _"Good tablecloth. Thank you for the meal."_ " As she spoke the food disappeared and the cloth returned to its previous state. 

Anathema packed it up and thanked her, they saddled up their horses and headed towards the gate. 

"You ready Aziraphale?" She said, a playful smile spread across her face. 

Two and a half months, two and a half months to find a way out of this. He breathed in deeply.

"I believe I am my dear. Shall we race to the town gate?" He said, returning the smile. 

Anathema let out a laugh as they took off towards the sunrise. 


	2. New meetings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aziraphale and Anathema set off on their quest, running into new faces. Gabriel looks for a sparring partner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow has it really been since October? Welp I'm here now. Hope you like this, not sure how many chapters this is going to be.

The Elysium kingdom is a vast one, rolling green hills and pastures full of livestock. The people are happy and joyful, The Good King Meto and the Lovely Queen Michael have ruled the land for almost three decades. They have three children, two sons and one daughter.

Aziraphale is the eldest son at 19, the second son followed ten months later with Gabriel 18. Then when the boys were five they took in the daughter of a Duke and Duchess who had perished in a fire, Uriel 16.

Their family have been the rulers since the founding of the land. It's armies are strong and fierce although they have had no reason to fight in decades. The wealth of the kingdom is beginning to dwindle as they have been experiencing a drought. They seek a way to keep their kingdom going in the unsure times. 

Aziraphale was only six when he was told of a second kingdom that shares its borders. 

The Fae Kingdom of Tartarus.

A mountainous land rich in minerals, metal and gems it's a very wealthy kingdom. It has its own army but they are spread thin, the kingdom has lost many to invaders and assassins. It was decided that the two kingdoms would be bonded through marriage. 

His Majesty King Lucifer and Her Royal Highness Queen Lilith. Their children are twins Dagon and Beelzebub 18, a young son Warlock at 11. They had an elder son but tragedy struck and the boy died in a landslide that took out an entire town. The royal family sent word that their child Prinx Beelzebub would be willing to wed an Elysium royal when they came of age. 

The two families wished their children a happy and successful marriage. This would benefit both kingdoms.

* * *

  
  


Anathema and Aziraphale had traveled for three days stopping at the small town of Tadfield, there they entered the pub and sat at the bar. Aziraphale ordered a scrumptious looking pie and was eating it with delightful hums. Anathema was listening to the conversations around them. 

"Did you enjoy it then?" A soft voice asked, Anathema looked up at the lithe young black man.

He was wearing eyeliner and nested into his hair were pointed and soft looking cat ears. 

The closer they got to Tartarus the more Fae they would encounter.

"My dear boy it was absolutely delicious, thank you for the meal" Aziraphale patted his face with the napkin. Smiling at the boy who beamed back at him. 

"You're more than welcome, my brother will be delighted someone enjoyed it." He said, amused.

Anathema turned to Aziraphale after he finished.

"So Mister Prince, where shall we go?" She studied his face as he puzzled over what to do next. 

Usually the Royal would seek out a town with a problem, be it a sociopathic goblin, property disputes with an aging witch, Druids and Nymphs upset at loggers for cutting in on a preserve. 

When Gabriel had gone on his quest at 17 he was asked to deal with the paternity rights of a young woman who had her husband and lover claiming her first born. Of course when the child was born it was clear he was of her lover's line, Rumpled Sticks or something like that. Her husband was a rather greedy man, it was probably for the best. 

As Aziraphale pondered this a group of children ran in the door and up to the counter. 

"Eric! Eric!" One of the three boys was practically jumping onto the counter. 

"Ah the young master Adam, how can I be of service to you today?" Eric put on an exaggerated, posh voice and gave a little bow as if playing a game with them. 

"Guess what?!" Adam was beaming with uncontrollable joy. "My parents got me a dog for my birthday!" 

Eric broke into a wide smile, he went to the ice box and took out some lollys for the kids.

"Did they get you a big dog? One that can walk by your side and smite your enemies?" He asked. 

"Naw, that's no fun. They got me a little one, he's black and white and I'm going to teach him all sorts of tricks." The boy gabbered away stopping only when he was handed his treat. They ran outside and Aziraphale could see from the windows them running about with a little black and white dog in tow. 

As they left Aziraphale turned back to Eric.

"Tell me dear boy, Is there any problems that need fixing or anything? Irrigation system failure, disputes between neighbors or something of the sort?" Aziraphale quietly hoped that it would be something that would take up as much time as possible. 

Eric gave a laugh.

"Here in Tadfield? Why this is the most picturesque village in all of Elysium. We got perfect weather, perfect resources and just generally happy and well lived people." 

Boasting aside when Aziraphale and Anathema asked around there really wasn't anything needed. The only "complaint" they received was a request if he could participate in the harvest festival next year. Aziraphale promised to attend and they left the tavern with no leads but some candied walnuts. 

"We could head towards Edenburough, always something to be found that way." Anathema offered as they walked. 

Aziraphale was about to say something when he heard the kids talking to each other. 

"Do you think if we train him enough we can make it into the dragon's castle?" The young girl asked. 

"Maybe! He can sneak in and distract the beast whilst we go through the door. It'll be wicked good fun." Adam responded. 

Anathema went up to them. 

"What are you kids up to?" She asked, the kids took one look at her and decided she was trustworthy enough. 

"About fifty miles that way." One of them pointed towards the woods. "There's an abandoned castle in which lies a fierce dragon. They say whoever beats the dragon will find riches untold. It'll be wicked fun." Adam declared. 

Anathema looked at Aziraphale with a raised eyebrow. A cursed castle would be a great quest, and it was even farther away which means more traveling time. She approached the kids. 

"Do you have more information about this castle?" She asks. 

They spend another day traveling to the castle, when they come upon it they're taken aback by how cared for it looks. Sure there's ivy and other plant life growing all over the place, but there's no broken windows or crumbling walls. 

It's a modest sized thing, with red brick walls and glass windows. They can see a tower rising in the morning sun, there's a flash of red as something in the tower moves. Anathema looks at Aziraphale. 

"Hostage?" She says. 

Aziraphale nods. "Quite likely. Perhaps we should stake out the place, observe and approach carefully." He says.

Anathema agrees and they find a good camping spot a mile or so away. After setting up a tent Anathema begins to pull tools from her bag. She sets up Tom the theodolite and turns it towards the castle. Aziraphale watches her silently as she adjusts and readjusts the contraption. She lets out little huffs and hums while she does this.

Aziraphale pulls out his Adventurers Pocket-sized Dragon Manual for research on how to deal with them. Dragons are not creatures you usually want to go messing with. Immensely large and strong, they are also wise and cunning. Especially at luring prey into a trap, the majority of the time it is highly recommended that you leave them alone. 

Aziraphale is looking up how to best sneak around a dragon when Anathema lets out a groan. She's got her dowsing rods out and is trying to get a signal but can't get a good reading. 

"So any clues as to what we're dealing with here?" Aziraphale asks. 

"No, it's impossible. There's a very strong magic here but no ley lines, the castle is definitely the source. We should apply great caution." She responds. "Are you hungry yet?" She asks. 

Aziraphale closes his book and nods. They pull the tablecloth out and are about to use it when they hear a sharp cry. Grabbing their weapons they trounce through the woods until they come across a young man who has a head wound. The branch under him eludes to the idea that he fell from the tree. There's a bow and quiver of arrows not too far from him. They scoop him up and take him back to camp where Anathema rifles through her bags for her potions. 

Aziraphale is examining the boy. "Can you tell me your name my dear?"

He says getting the man to look him in the eyes. The man has greenish blue eyes, the pupil is more oval than round. Around the ears and neck are dark green scales his teeth are pointed and sharp looking.

"Newt." The man replies. 

Anathema comes up and forces a bottle and a brown cube into his hand. 

"Drink this, and chew this." She says.

He fumbles pulling the cork out so Aziraphale takes pity and does it for him. He downs the drink and chews the cube, turning green at the taste. 

"Don't spit it out. Swallow it or you'll regret it." She says. 

Newt forces the medicine down and speaks.

"Thank you, I don't know what I would have done on my own." He says. 

"Lucky we were in the area. What happened? if you don't mind me asking?" Aziraphale hands him a canteen of water. 

"Hunting for dinner but put my faith in the wrong tree branch." He explains. "Shame I almost bagged the deer. Big bugger too, would've made for a few nice meals." He says glumly. 

"You're welcome to share our dinner with us. We have more than enough." Anathema offers. 

Newt looks around the campsite, there's no food to be seen or smelled. He stares at them in disbelief before Aziraphale takes a cloth from his friend and speaks. 

"Good tablecloth set thyself." He says with an impish grin. 

The cloth springs from his arms and sets itself with a delightful looking feast, there are many dishes that neither Anathema nor Aziraphale recognize. Newt inspects the dishes and gives a gasp of delight at one of them. 

"I've not seen these in years." He grabs a spoon and takes from a dish of multicolored orbs. He spoons it into his mouth and sighs happily as he chews. 

"Are they good?" Anathema asks. 

"They taste like home, here have some." He says. 

They both take a spoon and try the dish. Taste explodes on their tongues, literally! It's like they ate fireworks. Anathema has to spit hers out and drown the taste with wine. Aziraphale is able to swallow his but he lets out a shuddering gasp. 

"What is that?" They ask. 

Newt shifts nervously, "They're flaming salamander eggs." He says grabbing another spoonful. 

"They have quite a kick don't they?" Anathema says stiffly. 

Newt looks away nervously, "They're actually considered rather mild in Tartarus." He says defensively. 

"Fascinating, what other dishes are from your homeland?" Aziraphale asks, trying to make him feel better. 

Newt takes the bait and points out the many dishes. It seems that the table-cloth knew to include dishes that their guest would be delighted to have. As he explains each one he looks up at the fading light. He curses. 

"Shit, I was supposed to bring him dinner. Can I take some of the food from the table? It should pacify him." He asks. 

Anathema turns to Aziraphale who shakes his head. 

"Unfortunately the moment we put the table cloth away the food disappears." Aziraphale says sadly. 

"Oh, I thought I could cheer him up by bringing him some food." Newt looks down glumly. 

"Why don't we go with you? We're staying in this area anyways." Anathema offers. 

Newt hesitates but then gives in. They pack up the camp and set out for Newt's home. As they approach the castle Aziraphale calls out. 

"You live here?" He shouts as they get closer to the building. 

The sun is dipping downwards and there's no telling what mood the dragon might be in. 

"We've lived here for years. You get the occasional pest but it's not all that bad." Newt replies.

"But isn't there a dragon?" Anathema says as they guide the horses into the entrance hall. 

Newt lets out a deep laugh. "Let's just say he's having a good day so he won't be a problem."

Newt jumps down from the horse and guides them to a courtyard, There's another horse grazing lazily. A feeding trough and water container sit against the railings. Newt waves his hand and the trough fills with hay. 

"The stables aren't of any use but your horses will be safe here. Umm let's just go this way." Newt says. 

They relieve the horses of their saddles and let them drink and graze. Anathema and Aziraphale follow Newt through the halls. 

"We've been here so long without actual guests. He's going to be so happy to see a new face or two." He says as they climb a spiraling staircase. 

Aziraphale looks back at Anathema, they really didn't plan on it being this easy to get into the castle. Much less be introduced to the imprisoned person who is being kept by a dragon. They reach a wooden door and Newt knocks on the door. 

"It's about bloody time. Thought I was going to starve to death waiting for you." A voice calls out.

The door swings open and a man with waist length red hair, wearing a black robe that was half open appears in the doorway. He bites back a cry of shock as he sees the two behind Newt. 

"Crowley, look what I found!" Newt grins as he pushes them into the room. 

Crowley's eyes are wide and dancing as he shuts the door behind them, Turning the lock. A manic grin lights up Newt's face.

* * *

Gabriel wipes his forehead with his handkerchief, nothing like a morning jog around the grounds to get the blood flowing. He heads to the fencing room ready to do some practice sparring. He pauses and curses himself, both Anathema and Aziraphale are gone. They're the best sparring partners. They give him a real challenge, especially Anathema. She's not afraid to best either prince and gloat about it. He decides to go looking for someone anyways. 

"Sandy!" He calls out spotting the portly man. 

Sandalphon had been leaning against the wall downing some mead he snuck from the stores. 

"Your highness!" He startles and jumps to attention. 

"Would you care to come spar with me? I could use the workout." He smiles brightly. 

Sandalphon nods, "It would be my pleasure, your highness." He follows the prince to the chamber. 

An hour or so later and Gabriel has won all the matches. He pulls off his helmet and he glowers at the guard.

"Come on, certainly you can do better than that?" He says stiffly. 

"I assure your highness I am giving it my best. You are exceptional at this to say the least." Sandalphon placates. 

Gabriel dismisses him.

"Why are the only two in this castle willing to fight me gone?" He groans rubbing his neck. 

"I'll zpar with you." A voice buzzes. 

Gabriel looks up to see the Prinx standing against the wall. He looks them up and down, smiling at their small stature. 

"Sure but you'll have to wear Aziraphale's uniform from when he was younger." He says snidely. 

Prinx Beelzebub glares at him as they find the right sized suit. They armor up and grab a sword, giving a wicked grin before they put the helmet on they begin. In less than a minute they land a point on Gabriel. 

"You'll find that your title doesn't mean much to me." They buzz landing another point. 

Gabriel lets out a bark of laughter at this. "Good." He says getting a point himself. 

They continue to spar each of them seemingly evenly matched. Gabriel is having too much fun battling this Prinx. More fun than he's had in ages. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and Comments are enjoyed. Stay safe out there. My uploading schedule is going to be more random than usual because I'm dealing with some family issues. My bio mom isn't doing well and my bio brother has Covid. Plus I'm stuck in another state and can't see them. Fun.


	3. Secrets and whispers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our gallant duo learns a bit more on the two men trapped in the castle. We learn a bit about the kingdom of Elysium and secrets are whispered through the walls.  
> .  
> .  
> Mild CW and TW for substance abuse and minor suicidal ideation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm thinking of making this story ten chapters long, what do you all think?  
> .  
> .  
> I actually have a good chunk of the backstory written, but don't come looking for it too soon. It has major spoilers that I don't want you knowing until it's time for you to know. So stick around.

Captain Azazel is four drinks in and groggily staring at his now empty glass. This whole trip to Elysium has been exhausting, what with having to guard the carriage the entire way. Dukes Hastur and Ligur yelling and joking with each other about how far the once great captain has fallen. Their voices grate on his every nerve, when they talk so loudly he can remember the horror of that night. The screaming of desperate terror as the land collapsed and took his home with it. 

Less than ten people survived that night, all of them far enough away to avoid the rocks and debris. 

Not his son though, nor the young prince, he failed in his mission to protect them. He spent the first three years in a blur of drunkenness and sleeping. Trying to numb himself to the memories of what happened. Trying to forget his child and the young prince. The royal family had not blamed him for it, after all it's not like he caused the landslide. Rarely are landslides caused by outside intervention, still he couldn't handle it and fell into a deep depression. He only returned to his job because the idea of killing himself wasn't as appealing. 

Azazel orders a glass of water downs it and then stumbles his way to the castle. He trips as he crosses the drawbridge and is caught by someone. 

"Had enough to drink sir?" A chiding voice asks. 

Azazel looks up at the man and tries to shrug him off, but it seems he's incapable of holding himself up. 

"S'leave me alone and let me ssleep." He slurs.

The man however refuses to. Dragging him to the barracks and placing him on a bed. The man forces a cup into his hands along with a brown cube. 

"Chew that and you'll feel better in the morning. Wouldn't do well for the Captain of the Royal Guards of Tartarus to be hungover tomorrow. Unable to escort the Prinx and Princess around the town." 

Azazel mumbles in agreement and takes the medicine. It tastes like he's eating mud and he damn near spits it out. 

"Yeah we all react like that but this is top of the line medicine. Great for head injuries and hangovers." The man says.

"Who are you?" Azazel asks after swallowing the cube. 

"I am Captain Thou Shall Not Commit Adultery Pulsifier. Head of the Royal Guards of Elysium." He states proudly. 

"That's too long of a name, Can I just call you Pulsifier?" Azazel asks.

"It's Captain Pulsifier if you don't mind. Captain Azazel." Pulsifier replies.

Azazel nods in agreement. "Not much of a Captain if you ask me." He mumbled, sinking into the bed. 

"I am sure that if your King and Queen doubted you they would not have sent you with their children. Yet you repay them by being drunk off your ass?" Captain Pulsifier looks the man over. 

"S'My life, I can do what I want with it. I'm always sober enough for the royals. But when I'm off the clock I don't care anymore." Azazel mumbles this out before giving a loud snore and falling asleep. 

Captain Pulsifier just shakes his head and prepares for bed himself. Tomorrow promises to be a busy day.

* * *

Aziraphale's hand flies to his belt where his sword is, ready to fight off the possible combatants. He can't believe they were stupid enough to walk into a trap. The red head looks him over and then belts out a deep laugh.

"I can't believe it! I thought I'd never have a chance to get out." He says, His yellow slit eyes dance merrily. 

"What's going on here?" Anathema asks, wanting some answers. 

"We've been stuck in this castle for seven bloody years. Thought I'd go mad with boredom, but now we stand a chance!" Redhead says. 

"Who are you exactly?" Aziraphale asks, trying to look away from the man's figure that peaks out from his robe. 

"You can call me Crowley and this is Newt." Redhead introduces them.

"Nice to meet you Crowley, I'm Aziraphale and this is my friend Anathema." Aziraphale responds.

Crowley looks them over. "Dressed up rather simple for an adventurer. They usually run about in full armor, I can hear it clanging from the entrance hall." Crowley says, walking to his bed and sitting down. 

Aziraphale brushes off the comment. "I am Prince Aziraphale of the kingdom of Elysium. I am on a quest to prove my worth as King and to marryanotherroyal." He mumbles the last part. 

"What was that?" Crowley asks, his eyes take in the form of the blonde man. 

He got a wide build with muscles underneath his clothes. His hair is so blonde it's almost as white as the clouds in the sky. The man stumbles on his words and looks so flustered Crowley finds it rather cute. 

"I'm on a quest to prove my worth as the next King. And to try and find a way out of marrying someone I just met." Aziraphale takes a deep sigh and sits on the chair in front of the mirror.

"That doesn't sound like fun. I never really got that rule." Crowley says aloud. 

"It's for a political alliance between the Kingdoms of Elysium and Tartarus." Anathema states, Aziraphale is too busy bemoaning his fate. 

Crowley and Newt stare at each other. A flicker of fear and desperation passes between them. 

Anathema watches the exchange. 

"Are you two from Tartarus?" She asks, she assumed so based on their eyes and the fact they both have scales visible. 

Newt's are dark green around his pointed ears and neck, Crowley has black scales dotting across his face. Under his eyes and crossing the bridge of his nose. The two exchange looks of hesitation, doubt and secrecy. They finally both nod and Newt responds.

"Yes, we are from Tartarus. As for why we're here we can't tell you much. Just that there's a curse that we need to break to go free."

Anathema looks over at Aziraphale to her, it sounds like a perfect quest. Who knows how long this will take, whilst they're trying to break the curse they can brainstorm a way out of the marriage. 

"Sirs Crowley and Newt. We would be honored in assisting you with breaking this wretched curse and freeing you from bondage." Aziraphale states proudly. 

The two men grin in satisfaction, then Crowley's stomach growls and they all sit down to a dinner of Tartarus fare. Making sure to alert Aziraphale and Anathema on which dishes are spicy and which are not.

* * *

The Tartarus delegation walks through the town square, townspeople come out to watch and greet them. Bee and Dagon walk side by side.

"They're from the Fairie lands. Can you imagine that?" One woman whispers to another.

"I hear that this wedding will bring money back into the kingdom." A man whispers to the group next to him. 

"They're weird looking, the lady has sharp looking teeth." A child speaks.

"All the better to taste you with." An older child responds, causing the others to laugh and shriek.

Bee is about to storm over there and teach the brat some manners before an arm stops them.

"They're just kids, they don't know any better." Azazel speaks to his liege. 

"Well maybe someone should teach them better." Bee buzzes back. Throwing his arm off of them and resumes their position in the group again.

They walk all the way to the town square where there's a black iron gazebo. The procession halts as they enter, King Meto and Queen Michael turn to address the gathering crowd. 

"My people, I bid you to listen to us. For we bear news of great tidings. With us we have the Royals from the Fae Kingdom of Tartarus. They're our closest allies and are prosperous in their kingdom. Our lands have suffered from drought and left us uncertain of our wealth. The Kingdom of Tartarus has agreed to a mutually beneficial marriage. In a few weeks When Prince Aziraphale returns he shall wed their Royal Highness Prinx Beelzebub of Tartarus. We shall unite our kingdoms and restore faith and security to our lands. I urge you to welcome the Tartarus Royals. For soon they will be our family as well." King Meto finishes speaking. 

The amassed crowd cheers with vigor and joy. As they head back to the castle gifts are placed upon them and the crowd bows to them. It's so saccharine sweet Bee feels nauseated, when they return to the castle they take a walk through the halls. Inspecting the paintings that hang there. They are looking at a painting of the royal family after Uriel was brought into it. Footsteps approach them and they look at the man who has joined them. 

"It's a lovely painting isn't it?" Gabriel says. 

The painting displays the King and Queen sitting on their thrones and the two boys sitting on the floor next to them. In the Queen's arms in a baby Uriel wrapped in luxurious clothes. 

"Are you and your brother twinz?" Bee asks.

Gabriel lets out a chuckle. 

"No we're ten months apart." He replies. 

"Pity." Bee says and continues to walk along the hall. 

"What did you think of meeting the townspeople? Pretty soon you'll be their ruler, that's got to be fun, right?" Gabriel asks, walking alongside them. 

Bee grimaces. "Oh yez it'll be so much fun to rule over people who think me and my kind are freaks." They buzz angrily. 

Gabriel sighs. "They probably need time to get used to the idea. After all it hasn't been that long since the kingdom of Tartarus was discovered by our people. You and your family are curiosities." He says. 

Bee glares at him. "Yez well my kingdom was doing great on it's own. We could've handled ourselves like we alwayz did. We didn't need your help." Bee bristled.

Gabriel puts his hands up in a non-aggressive manner. 

"Well my family is grateful for the help. The drought is draining our pockets and we could use benefits that come with your kingdom." He says. 

Bee backs down and groans. "This whole syztem is screwed." They say. 

"You did agree to the marriage." Gabriel points out. 

"Only because I'm the eldezt and my parents are pushing for it." They buzz unhappily.

Gabriel just rolls his eyes, he'd give anything to be the eldest in his family. Aziraphale is kind and level headed but he doesn't make for a good ruler. He would be the better option, but it is what it is. Not much he can do about it. 

"Would you like to join me for some sparring? Get the blood flowing?" He offers. 

Bee nods in agreement and they set off.

* * *

"We've come across the most interesting castle mother. There are two cursed men here in need of our assistance. We're working with them to figure out what to do. Most marvelous spellwork I dare say we have our work cut out for us." Aziraphale speaks into the reflecting mirror. 

His mother answered the ring and the mirror shined her image back. 

"That sounds like a great challenge, my child. Remember that you can't directly ask for help. Keep your promises realistic." Queen Michael replies to her son. 

"Of course mother, Crowley and Newt are very eager to get the curse broken and I'll do my best to not get their hopes too high. Tell everyone I said hello, I'll talk to you later mother." With that Aziraphale closes the connection. 

Queen Michael steps away from the mirror and heads out. Not even noticing the two lurking in the corner of the hall. 

"Do you think it's the same kids?" Hastur asks his companion. 

"Know anyone else with that stupid name? Course it's them. We gotta get word to the boss, that brat survived." Ligur says, Hastur nods in agreement. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Captain Azazel was the gaurdain of the young prince and his son. He was unable to save them from the landslide that took out the town. He feel into a deep depression because of it.


	4. Curiouser and Curiouser

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are heating up and being revealed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since the story is going to be ten chapters long it's getting time to reveal the biggest plot twist.

The kingdom of Tartarus is made up of the lower mountain range, it's land is expansive and as such the citizens are stretched thin. The Royal family has ruled for 54 years after a bloody siege left the previous royals dead and their nephew the only surviving heir. Abaddon left the kingdom to his son Lucifer and Queen Lilith. They went on to have four kids of their own, one passed when he was ten. 

There's long been rumors that a secret society is after the Tartarus throne. After the loss of their eldest son King Lucifer and Queen Lilith sought to protect their surviving children. Beelzebub and Dagon are safe in the kingdom of Elysium, Warlock is hardly allowed to leave the castle without a full guard or the king and queen with him. Even in the garden Warlock is hard pressed to find privacy. 

Warlock sighs with irritation as he walks along the path kicking a loose stone. Father is busy discussing with the guardsmen about the upcoming trip to Elysium. Mother is seeing to requests from the common folk, she has sent Warlock out to play along with his Nanny by his side. 

He feels a little old for a Nanny but she's also his tutor and she's always telling him he's destined for greatness. 

_ "You're going to do so many things when you get older. Just you wait, young master." She says to him nearly every night.  _

_ "But Nanny, I'm the fourth born. I'm never going to do much of anything." He replies _

_ "Now that's no reason to give up. Your sibling Bee is marrying into a different kingdom." She tells him. _

_ "But what about Dagon?" He asks. _

_ "Don't worry about her. Just go to sleep, young master. Sleep and dream of the many great things you will accomplish" She tucked the blankets around him and gave him a peck on the cheek. _

As Warlock walks he spots a man bent over the flower beds picking up a slug. He sneaks up behind the man and pokes his shoulder. 

"What're you doing Brother Francis?" He asks.

Brother Francis gives a little jump. 

"You're going to cause my heart to stop one of these days you will." He says patting his face with a handkerchief, wiping down his mouth with his jutting teeth. 

Warlock rolls his eyes and waits for Brother Francis to answer him. 

"I'm relocating Sister slug." He says revealing the red mollusck. 

"Why?" Warlock asks.

Brother Francis starts walking towards the compost heap.

"Well, you see she was fixing to lay her eggs in the red cabbages. And as much as we should respect all creatures. Cook wouldn't be very happy if her veggies were ruined. So I'm taking her to live in the compost heap where she can munch on all the rotted veggies she wants and not ruin the ones we eat." Brother Francis gently places Sister slug in the scrap heap and cleans off his hands. 

"Remember young master, All life is precious and should be treated with care and respect." He says looking at the boy. 

"Whatever." Warlock wanders away wondering if he can get the guardsmen to play kickblast with him.

* * *

"Dukes Ligur and Hastur, this is a most unusual call, we didn't expect to hear from you until next week." A woman with long red hair has answered their communication spell.

"We apologize, Madame War, but we have a matter of grave importance." Ligur says. 

"Speak it." Scarlett says a little impatient. 

"We have reason to believe that the eldest prince survived the landslide." Hastur admits. 

Scarlett's face turns red. "Impossible, you assured us that the entire town was destroyed! How could you have screwed up this badly?!" She shrieks 

Ligur and Hastur flinch back through the mirror. 

"We thought the same but we overheard a transmission that the Elysium prince has found two men by the names of Crowley and Newt." Hastur tries to explain hastily. 

"Do they know what you did?" Scarlett is fuming. 

"We're not exactly sure." Ligur admits.

Scarlett glares at him "Well you better go find out!" She shuts down communication.

She walks through the winding halls of the bunker. Coming upon the main hall she lets herself in and the other jump to attention.

"Sable, Chalky." She bows in greeting her fellow generals. 

"Scarlett" They bow back. 

"What news have you to share today?" Sable asks his razor sharp teeth glinting in the light. 

"It appears that our long tongued friends failed at their task seven years ago." She growls out. 

Sable and Chalky tense. 

"How?" Sable asks clenching his teeth, they haven't come this far to lose it all.

"Hell knows how, but we must be careful in our next steps. If it gets out that those idiots caused that landslide we could lose everything!" Scarlett is fuming. 

"If it comes to it, we'll throw them under the carriage and disappear for awhile. They can never completely get rid of us." Chalky speaks calmly, their voice breathy and short. 

"Agreed, let's focus on the Princess. We need to take her out before we can begin the final steps." Sable offers.

* * *

"So is there anything you can tell us about the curse?" Aziraphale asks, taking a bite of his scone with jam and cream. 

Crowley just tilts his head and hisses, he's curled up in a tight coil. The curse keeps him imprisoned in his Fae form during the morning hours. Unable to speak or effectively communicate with them. Still Aziraphale finds it a bit charming; he notices more than once Crowley's eyes following him. 

"He's trapped in the tower until the parameters of the curse are met." Newt says munching on a chocolate biscuit. 

Anathema is nodding while eating some eggs Crowley picks one up and swallows it whole.

"I suppose it also traps him in his Fae form?" Anathema asks. 

Crowley nods his head before throwing it down on the upper coil in a severe pout. 

"We've tried everything but we can't seem to solve it by ourselves." Newt provides.

"Curses are bound by ancient law, there always has to be a way out or they don't work." Anathema responds. 

"Perhaps we should poke around the castle and see if there's any clues?" Aziraphale offered. 

Newt agrees to give them a tour and after packing up the tablecloth they set out, Crowley looking somber as they leave. 

"Come on now, we'll be back by sundown." Newt says. 

Crowley hisses and slithers away to hide. Newt sighs as he walks out the door.

"Sorry about him, I reckon he's a bit lonely and tired of me. Only getting to see one person for seven years." He says. 

Aziraphale hums. "Has anyone else come here? To try and help?" He asks. 

Newt's face turns sour. "Every previous one came here to try and slay the dragon. Didn't even wait to draw their swords." 

Aziraphale and Anathema shoot a look of pity at him. 

He takes them to the courtyard where there's a few statues. One of an old withered looking man in a menacing pose, another one is of a young looking warrior ready for a fight and behind him is a statue of a fragile looking woman, She looks soft and meek.

The horses are there grazing Newt approaches one, He pats down the big black one, she has grey in her mane but nuzzles him sweetly.

"Hey there Bentley. How are you doing today? Would you like an apple?" He says, flicking his wrist and a juicy red apple appears. 

Anathema stares in wonder, She moves closer. 

"Are the fae naturally magical?" She asks. 

Newt looks at her, she seems to express no interest except to learn. Aziraphale is poking around looking at the statues.

"All Fae have magic capabilities, but you have to learn how to use them. Crowley's been teaching me since I was ten." He says. 

"Have you two always lived in this area?" She asks.

Aziraphale seems to have wandered off. 

Newt shakes his head. "No, we were traveling towards Elysium when we got trapped in the castle." 

Anathema is about to ask why they were headed to Elysium when they heard a sharp zap and Aziraphale cried out. They rush towards the sound and find Aziraphale at the very edge of the courtyard holding his hand. 

"All I was trying to do was get to that vine." He says pointing at a lush grape vine full of plump juicy looking grapes. "Something shocked me and I can't get past it. Those grapes look so scrumptious." 

Newt's face falls as he suddenly remembers. "Oh fuck." He says looking at the two of them. 

Anathema walks up to him. "What's going on?" 

"You two spent the night here." He mumbles fearfully. 

"And?" Anathema asks, her brown eyes bore into his. 

**"When the moon journeys through the sky and gleams upon the castle in which you lie. Fool you have sealed your fate, never again can you leave this place."** He recites. 

Anathema and Aziraphale look fearfully at each other, Newt is pale and shaking.

"What the Heavens is going on here?" Aziraphale asks. 

"I'm sorry, we didn't do it on purpose. We've been here so long we forgot." He says hands shaking. "The curse takes effect when you spend the night on the castle grounds. You can't leave unless the curse is broken." He stutters out. 

Anathema growls out "Are you freaking kidding me?!!! Now we're trapped here as well!" She's burning with aggravation. 

Aziraphale looks a little shell shocked, this isn't quite what he had in mind when it came to delaying his wedding. Newt looked ready to faint. 

"You're still not telling us the whole truth." Anathema points a finger at Newt. 

Newt looks dumbly at her. 

"What do you mean Anathema?" Aziraphale asks. 

"There's more to their story than just two travelers on their way to Elysium. How old are you?" She asks him.

Newt swallows. "Seventeen" he says softly. 

"You're seventeen and you've been here for seven years? Seems to be awfully young to be making a journey of hundreds of miles. Why are you dead set on getting to Elysium?" She asks. 

"Anathema!" Aziraphale says shocked at her manners. 

Anathema holds her ground. 

Newt looks between them. 

"If we're going to tell you, we need Crowley to be present as well." Newt says. 

That evening they sit around the table Aziraphale and Anathema watch the two men converse with each other. They're whispering into each other's ears. They can just barely hear Newt telling Crowley to trust him, Crowley sighs but nods in agreement. They turn to face the two others. 

"Newt thinks it's a good idea to tell you two, and since you're not from Tartarus we're hoping to be able to trust you." Crowley begins. 

Anathema and Aziraphale listen eagerly. 

Crowley looks at both of them.

"Everything started on the night I watched my village disappear beneath the mountain." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you think you've figured it out yet?  
> ..  
> There's more than one curse on the castle.  
> The part of the forest that Newt was in was on the castle grounds.  
> .
> 
> Don't hate me too much, I will reveal Newt and Crowley's past in the next chapter.  
> .  
> Nanny and Brother Francis are in this story as well? What's their motivation? Will the truth be revealed before anyone actually dies?

**Author's Note:**

> Yes Crowley walks around his rooms nakey, it's not like he has anything to be ashamed of.


End file.
